nessaniel

Fandom: The Expendables (Spaghetti-Western-AU)
Titel: Ein Messer und sechs Colts
Inhalt: Barney Ross und seine Bande aus Höllenhunden machen den Wilden Westen unsicher, und Jungspund Billy the Kid will endlich beweisen, was er draufhat. Doch sowohl Barney als auch Lee halten das für keine sonderlich gute Idee und als dann auch noch ein gefürchteter Rivale auftaucht, werden die Familienbande auf eine harte Probe gestellt.
Charaktere/Pairing: das ganze Team, one-sided Barney/Lee, angedeutetes Gunnar/Yin, Billy/Male OC (erst im zweiten Teil)
Wortanzahl: ~ 13400
Anmerkung: Dies ist mein Beitrag zum Deutsch-Bigbang 2013 auf Livejournal.
Mein Dank gebührt der_jemand, die einen fantastischen last-minute Betajob abgeliefert hat, ohne den ich komplett verloren gewesen wäre. Diese Story ist ihr und rei17 gewidmet, denn niemand kann so schön auf Billy draufhauen wie diese beiden. <333
Aufgrund von unvorhergesehner RL-Sachen ist das hier leider nur der erste Teil, doch der zweite wird nachgereicht, sobald ich das RL eingefangen, in den Kerker gesperrt und mit Buttermilch gefügig gemacht habe.


Teil 1 | Teil 2


( Die folgenden Zeilen wurden von der Vereinigung missverstandener Teenager gesponsert )

Oh God, guys, I really can't with this movie anymore. xDDD *crying with laughter*

Yes, I finally caved in and bought the super special awesome shiny edition of "The Expendables". 
(IT HAS A BELT BUCKLE! AND SHINY TATTOOS XDDDD LOOKIE HEEERE!)

AND DAMN ISN'T IT A GREAT MOVIE! I didn't think my love for the second one could have been topped but DAMN! It has everything!!!  Barney's team is full of idiots and HE LOVES HIS GUYS HE PROTECTS THEM HE IS AWARE OF EVERYTHING THEY ARE DOING AND MAAAAAAAN they are just so wonderful with each other! Lee and Barney bicker like an old married couple, Yang hates everybody and pesters everyone and their mum, Gunnar is just a nutjob "I'M HANGING A PIRATE! *_*", Toll has a certain kind of personality disorder, Lee is a poet and everyone wants everyone to go to a therapy.  

And if his boys are arguing Barney shoots people to stop the argument. HOW GREAT IS THAT. The jokes are wonderful and the whole "I WILL GO ALONE!" - "THE HELL YOU WILL YOU STUPID IDIOT!" dynamic makes for a great feeling of friendship and trust all around
...
I feel like talking about Care Bears, all of a sudden. o.O
Anyway, I think I enjoyed the first one even more because the characters were fleshed out in a much more convincing way and not as hardcore stereotypical as in the second one. The story isn't that bad either, I mean, no one expects a new "Inception"-level of ingeniousness when they are watching "The Expendables" right? But again, it wasn't as full of tropes as the second one (although I missed the team-puppy. Srsly. Q_Q Billy, come here and lemme torture you <3) and made for a nice, cool action packed film. <3 

AND NOW I SHALL SHIP EVERYONE IN THIS FILM! BARNEY AND LEE FOR ALL ETERNITY <3333

I need a shipping meme or something. For the Expendables. PRONTO!  
(Btw, Sylvester Stallone's voice is sooo great. o.o I've never watched a non-dubbed version of one of his movies before so when I saw the gag reel I got really giggly and stupid and fangirly. Again. Because the film itself had me screaming and laughing and shipping everything before that. Yes)